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Stangors Saga: Stangor Complete First Quest

Now Stangor want woman. But women of village only want Stangor to find drugs, kill monsters. All people of village on drugs. Even Stangor. When Stangor grow weak from killing, must mix Blue Mushroom and Herb to make Potion. Then Stangor feel good, kill more, find more mushrooms. Today Stangor made Guild Member, sent to get horn of deeralope so Chief can get high. Tomorrow must catch Goldenfish, make many villagers high. Must catch Bitterbug. People say Bitterbug give Stangor go-fast power for short time, then bad crash. Like «blue ice» in Stangor’s village. Make many rednecks sick, silly. Stangor want red meat, woman.

Red meat no problem. Stangor now good killer, learn sword moves, buy full set armor. But village woman only want Stangor’s money, sell him food, swords. No give Stangor free piece. Not even fat fishmonger woman fuck Stangor.

Stangor not so sure «MONSTER HUNTER TRI» healthy game.

Stangor panic today when tree fall, power outage kill Wii, destroy real world — send Stangor back to silly fake Play World. In silly fake Play World Stangor feel pain, get tired, is little weak man, wear glasses, no armor, no hunter’s knife, only computer, TV. When power back, Stangor forget silly little glasses man world, go back to Moga Woods, kill many monsters, harvest Blue Mushrooms, complete Quest, buy fancy armor, give fickle women of village big drugs, maybe get laid.

I ukene fremover presenterer Imagonem en serie gjesteblogger fra Ærverdige Ivan Stang, skriftlærd og radiovert for den internasjonale Church of the SubGenius. Pastoren deler her den oppbyggelige fortellingen om sin gjenoppdagelse av dataspillenes vidunderlige verden med oss.

 

 

 

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