Stangors saga: Day 52

This give Stangor big ideas.

In Moga Village, Stangor have felyne slave who work farm for Stangor. Stangor bring dung, pay, order ‘shrooms, bomberries grown by slave. Slave look like big kitten with vest, walk upright, talk like silly man.

Felyne slave name Tater.

Stangor not name him Tater. Little Weak Glasses Man not name him Tater. Him already named Tater.

Stangor could choose other names for slave, but Tater there so Stangor pick Tater.

Now Stangor think, maybe fuck felyne Tater. Also maybe fuck little pig in diaper that hang around farm. No woman in Moga Village offer to fuck Stangor. Flirt much, but just want Zennis from Stangor. Always try to sell Stangor new bug net, potions, weapons, fishing quests. Moga Village women no love Stangor except as customer.

Stangor maybe fuck Kelbi. Kelbi like deer and goat. Small, warm, furry. Easy to catch, stick hind legs in Stangor boots, him fuck while eating Well Done Steak. Then Stangor chop off horn, but free Kelbi to kill later.

Slain dinosaur, him no good for fuck. Cold, scaly. Also, bring shame on Stangor if villagers see. Live dinosaur too hard to fuck. Tail whip Stangor in face.

Farm strange. Top farmer, him Wyvernian dwarf, him talk like other Tater in Little Weak Glasses Man Fake-World. Talk about shovel, talk funny, lose train of thought easy like Little Weak Glasses Man Tater — but him no named Tater. Felyne slave no talk like Tater, but him named Tater.

Little Weak Glasses Man want make thing he call… Stangor forget. Silly «job.» Stangor say, No. Need Little Weak Glasses Man to work as slave for Stangor today. Must capture Great Jaggi. Little Weak Glasses Man take 3 lessons on YouTube to help Stangor prepare potions, Tranq bombs, shock traps.

When Stangor slay Great Jaggi, him use Dung Bomb for first time. Very funny! Stangor throw Dung Bomb, hit Great Jaggi, air fill with brown fog like dinosaur fart! Great Jaggi get distracted, wave forepaws at snout, blink, stop chasing Stangor so Stangor can drink Potion, sharpen sword, attack-then-dodge.

Stangor no smell Dung Bomb. Stangor no smell anything. Monster dung everywhere, carcass rot, fish rot in village — Stangor smell nothing.

Stangor go now, make Little Weak Glasses Man hold Kelbi while Stangor fuck it. Then Stangor fuck Tater.

***

I ukene fremover presenterer Imagonem en serie gjesteblogger fra Ærverdige Ivan Stang, skriftlærd og radiovert for den internasjonale Church of the SubGenius. Pastoren deler her den oppbyggelige fortellingen om sin gjenoppdagelse av dataspillenes vidunderlige verden med oss.

 

 

 

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