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Stangors saga: Day 71

Little Weak Glasses Man have imaginary friend in imaginary world. Him named GGG or GorGor. GorGor no like Stangor, think Stangor world fake, Little Weak Glasses World real. Him worry that Little Weak Glasses Man have Stangor as boss. Think Little Weak Glasses Man getting «too into it.» Godnor say:

«Oh perilous are the turns of fate that wrest times tourbillions away from the central gyre as if a keen blade has sliced away a most delicious possibility from the structure of probability. Mayhaps some skulking brute, base apelike avatar of one so blind and weak might not have come to be but for this feckless wight’s untimely demise. Had the wealth of his domain had been properly dispensed the the weak and blind who have not mastered the way of safe return and would never have dared to pay the price to enter..

«Yet the weak and blind might yet depart from the other side of the mirror of self involvement would that they will admit gross ERROR for gambolling in the false slack realms of the PINKS! Can they all not perceive that this foolhardy sortie can lead but to a spiral into the matrix of PINK? Playing the games of the Con, sweet Dobbs what fatal flaw is this that rent the veil of the inner temple, that the weak and halt and lame wouldst see succor within the photonic realm of evil rather than the spirit of our one true leader?

«Shout salvation for «Bob» and the Fightin’ Jesus, I put it to you the Dobbseity ain’t no nickel-dime bumshow, he is a straight shooter and a damned fine business proposition. Nobody else has the inside scoop, and he has got a bottle of fropmixture he’ll swap you for your delusional games! Are you saved or are you deluded?

«This has been an announcement from the brain of GGG in response to the endless delusional adventures of one Stangor.»

—-

Stangor ask GorGor, How much time you work for Pipe Face Boss Man last day? Little Weak Glasses Man work for Pipe Face Boss in false world twelve hours. Make silly booklet, fold silly shirts, make silly product, answer silly Pipe Face Boss email. Little Weak Glasses Man help Stangor mine Pelagicite for maybe one, one and half hour in False World Time.

Lucky for Stangor, one hour in False World equal whole day in Moga Woods, Flooded Forest, Sandy Plains.

So, GorGor go fuck self. GorGor forget ShorDurPerSav. GorGor forget Slack. Stangor is Short Duration Personal Savior of Little Weak Glasses Man.

Late tonight in False World, Little Weak Glasses Man probably stop silly video and help Stangor again. Stangor have Pelagicite Fever. Pelagicite is demon, make greed in soul of Hunters. Last sleep, Stangor find Pelagicite ore in Flooded Forest, deep under lake. Murky, hard to find in mud. Must slay nine Ludroths to justify Quest, harvest Pelagicite. Easy now. But Stangor need four more Pelagicite ores, then can upgrade Hunter’s Dagger to Assassin’s Dagger. Then ALL Stangor weapons upgraded to peak until Qurupeco captured, slain.

Last sleep, Stangor upgrade Lance, Switch-Axe, Long Sword! Very high sharpness, attack power! Slay three Great Jaggis just for practice with new weapons. Switch-Axe cool, but slow. Long Sword sharpest! — but slow. Lance best combination of blocking and killing, until Dagger upgraded. Dagger & shield very versatile. Low attack power but fast. Can block and attack AND HOLD TORCH, all same time.

Stangor also mix up many potion, drug. Now have Demon Potion, Armorskin, Might Pills, Adamant Seeds, Dash Juice, Energy Drink. Many drug. Make Stangor fierce, take away Stangor pain. Stangor get high as shit when fight now.

Ha ha! Stangor remember when Great Jaggi scare Stangor and Little Weak Glasses Man! Now Stangor brush off all Jaggis like flies.

Discover funny tricks! Cha-Cha will blow Stangor if Stangor stand in right place. Little Weak Glasses Man film porno movie! Very funny!

Wei D’Or also find funny pose. Her talk to Chief. Chief old Moga man, like Indian in False World, him smoke long pipe with frop. If Wei D’Or stand just right, Chief bury face in Wei D’Or ass! And stick pipe in Wei D’Or cooter! Him fuck Wei D’Or with pipe, eat out Wei D’Or ass! Very funny!

Strange. When Stangor, Wei D’Or move close to monster or Moga villager, not bump, but MERGE. Stangor sometime vanish inside monster corpse when carving. Very strange. If stand to close to Trader, merge with Trader like ghost. And sword merge with shield, like ghost. But all solid when strike monster!

Stangor still have much to learn, much to kill. After satisfy Pelagicite Fever, must gain entry to Tundra, only source of Armor Sphere+ — many needed to upgrade Jaggi Armor!

Just like False World — job never done! Always hunt, gather, KILL!

KILL! KILL! KILL!!

***

Med dette avslutter vi Ærvedige Ivan Stangs oppbyggelige redegjørelse for sin oppdagelsesferd i dataspillenes vidunderlige verden. Vi har blitt forsikret om at Stangor inntil videre vil tillate Pingle Brillemann å produsere ukentlig «radioshow», Hour of Slack (nå på sin 1384de time,  og tilgjengelig for nedlasting her).

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