Stangors saga: I Managed to Escape from Stangor Briefly

He finally beat the Great Jaggi. The Quest had to be finished within 50 minutes (game time) and in the last TWO MINUTES he got in the killing blow and was able to carve out the bone and hide.

When it was over, *I,* not Stangor, was drenched in sweat, panting, feeling all beat-up, and this was in an air-conditioned room. Stangor, in Moga Woods, never broke a sweat, never sustained a bruise. He fainted once after being struck by the Great Jaggi’s tail repeatedly, and being bitten countless times by dozens of lesser Jaggis as well as the Great Jaggi himself. He went through ten MegaPotions and eight regular Potions.

I, on the other hand, have no Potion of any kind. Just coffee.

For FOUR HOURS, Stangor held me in his grip. It’s not me controlling him with the Wii controller — HE’S controlling ME. He attacks something and that makes my thumb hit the A button. He rolls from the monster’s attack, which causes my right index finger to pull the B trigger and my left thumb to swivel the motion-stick.

He spent half an hour preparing for the battle — making bombs, eating special meals, buying the lastest available power accessories. Then, after the battle, after picking up his rewards, he wanted to get high on Blue Mushrooms and Herbs and then immediately go back out there to collect more drugs and ores and bones, and to kill as many big monsters as he could
— JUST FOR FUN (also he gets paid). It was Ludroth mating season and he slew probably a dozen of those large slimy aquatic carnivores. (They look like reptiles but are flabby like amphibians.) There was a giant flying bug outbreak in the Central area and he learned that the best way to take out several at once is by The Martian Arts of Grutledge — he just stands there slashing randomly every which-way with his sword, and the giant bugs eventually fly into his way and get hit. He’s like a human bug-zapper.

IF Stangor is even remotely human! — for as far as I know he STILL hasn’t even peed, much less shat. He eats and drinks a lot — I mean, he devours chunks of meat half his own size — but no excretion! Maybe when he reaches Level 3 he’ll finally spend 20 minutes just standing on the edge of a cliff peeing off it, as his reward. Maybe that’s why he’s so obsessive.

He went for 3 days and nights (in his world), without sleeping, in just four hours our time. Then he finally passed out on his feet after he had me «SAVE GAME.»

I came to myself wearing headphones, with my left hand in severe pain from gripping the «nunchuck» controller so hard, and drenched with sweat in an air- conditioned bedroom. The cup of coffee in front of me had not been touched after the Quest started.

Next, Stangor is going to have to CAPTURE a Great Jaggi — in The Sandy Plains, an unforgiving environment. He is making me watch YouTube videos of kids demonstrating how quickly they can do that. Here’s one:

That is what Stangor has to do next. The guy in the video looks much like Stangor, but is younger and doesn’t have the white beard. But his armor and weapons are about the same. This particular Monster Hunter has obviously been at it longer than Stangor has. His slave in this world has probably been playing video games since birth, whereas this is my first experience as the slave of a video game character since the days of Joust, Centipede and Galaga.

I need to whip out some new material for my job, but… something is… fighting…

Stangor go hunt in Sandy Plains now. Practice. Try spare Flash Bombs on Rhenoplus. Take scalp. Do Crystal Bones Quest just as excuse. Chief not let Stangor go to Sandy Plains unless on Quest. No Free Hunt like in Moga Woods.


I ukene fremover presenterer Imagonem en serie gjesteblogger fra Ærverdige Ivan Stang, skriftlærd og radiovert for den internasjonale Church of the SubGenius. Pastoren deler her den oppbyggelige fortellingen om sin gjenoppdagelse av dataspillenes vidunderlige verden med oss.

Stangors Saga: Day 41

I had a very productive day. I worked on my job for a whole hour. Far more productively, I helped Stangor kill and kill and kill, plus the two of us got much Resource gathering accomplished.

HOLY SHIT, these «video game» things I’ve just now discovered are HABIT FORMING!

I was able to quit cigarettes, speed, all manner of central nervous system depressants, but I frankly don’t see much point in living outside the video game except for the bare minimum, enough to keep the power on.

It is getting on Wei’s nerves. She falls asleep at 3 am but wakes up at 7 am to find me still running Stangor, in headphones. Apparently just hearing the controller emit the occasional buzz is driving her nuts. And she says I twitch violently while playing, shaking the bed.

So today Stangor hunted all day instead of all night. He prefers day in his world and I am able to give that to him, but in this case it was day in my world too.

Stangor has finished all his initial Quests and unlocked a whole new series of quests, landscapes, characters and ever-larger monsters and weapons. He is also rich as Midas, unlike me, because his environment apparently can be looted forever as long as he is industrious. Often he goes to the Deserted Island just to kill and kill and kill (and collect hides and ores and other resources) — JUST FOR THE MONEY. He is paid pretty well even for monsters that are not very hard to kill.

We are now seeing new monsters that are a little more difficult to slay, and more dangerous. Stangor has to carry a lot of food and medicine with him if he expects to kill big monsters, especially in the water. A lot of it happens underwater so Stangor has had to learn this strange way of swimming while fighting and also keeping a constant lookout.

The fighting is not so hard, but needing to keep a lookout while sharpening blades or consuming potions between monster attacks is making it all increasingly complicated.

It’s not all dinosaur-like foes now. There are also some giant bugs, as well as a type of man-sized slug that lives in caves. This huge slug is dreaded by both Stangor and me.

When Stangor goes upon a Quest — necessary to keep the world from getting boring — he has a time limit, usually 50 minutes in Stangor-time, which is subtly different from «real time» in our Narrative.

Today his first Urgent Quest was to kill six Ludroths, which are somewhat like oversized crocodiles. They can expel an annoying projectile unless you stay to one side of them, hammering away. Easy to kill on land; much trickier underwater. Stangor barely made it out today with his life. He was down to his last First Aid Pack and there were three Ludroths going at him all at once. However he did manage to kill the sixth Ludroth in time. This earned him an audience with The Trader, a seaship captain who will give Stangor valuable weapons in return for warm furry hides and rare bug guts.

Well I guess I better get back to «work.»

It’s interesting to reflect that not two months ago I was just like most old people. «Video games? They make my hands hurt, they run up my blood pressure, and worst of all I never win.»


It’s JUST like gambling or narcotics, or sex addiction. Don’t kid yourself, dear old-person reader. If it could happen to me, after all these years of resistance, it could happen to anybody — and much easier than you may think.

I spent the last hour «working» — supposedly..

The whole time, I wasn’t there. Not really. Mentally I was in Moga Woods, slaying monsters. I was thinking ahead: «What tools and supplies do I need to make sure I have with me on my next sojourn?»

Another part of me was thinking, «How can I break down Wei’s resistance? My wife has only been Wei D’Or two or three times. In the game world she is still stumbling around like a very old or young person, not yet fully in control of her limbs, nor with any reasonable sense of direction and motive. She isn’t ENJOYING it yet, not in… that WAY. It’s like the heroin is still making her puke. How can I get her to do that ONE NEXT HIT that will change her from allergic to addicted?»


I ukene fremover presenterer Imagonem en serie gjesteblogger fra Ærverdige Ivan Stang, skriftlærd og radiovert for den internasjonale Church of the SubGenius. Pastoren deler her den oppbyggelige fortellingen om sin gjenoppdagelse av dataspillenes vidunderlige verden med oss.




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